[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 7: Assumptions Make....]

[Gloria W]

> I'm rather like that, too. I'm not comfortable with Instant Friendships, not 
> interested in being friends with every person I meet, and it takes time for 
> me to decide if I really want to invest in a friendship with a particular 
> person. Sometimes I wonder if I'm missing out by being so fussy.
>   
Me too, but I'd rather wonder than be trapped in a superficial 
friendship, feeling too badly to tell the person to leave me alone, and 
giving more than getting from the friendship. I've recently lobbed off 
all of the superficial friendships in my life, because I just don't have 
time, and I'm going through this weird reclusive period of my life. I 
want to choose who befriends me, where and when they rely on me, what 
the do and don't need from me. People who suck me dry are gone now.
> Terry, my awesome SO, is the opposite. A classic extrovert who is gifted at 
> getting along with people, and still maintaining her boundaries. Sometimes I 
> think I should be more like that. Then I go back to my old cranky ways, and 
> it seems to work. After all, isn't the point of this course to figure out 
> what's right for us as individuals? :)
>   
That is cool that she can do that. And once again, youve hit on 
something, Carla. Boundaries, the nasty 'B' word for me. Except when it 
comes to anyone touching my body, my boundaries have, for the most part, 
been defined by other people. I guess this is why I am backlashing now. 
I have always corrected myself by doing the opposite of what I did 
wrong. I hope to find balance one day. For now, this serves me, so it is 
what I will do.
>
> I've figured out that I do care. I'm not interested in getting into big 
> debates all the time, but I am working at being more assertive at correcting 
> the dumb assumptions that bother me.
>   
I wonder if I should care or not. I am tired of fighting the good fight. 
It is exhausting, and I'm not even sure I've had a lasting impact. I 
have been the exception to many people's assumptions about women, but 
have I really changed their minds? Probably not.

Gloria