[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 5: The Hardest Nos]

[Carla Schroder]

On Wednesday 02 May 2007 22:43, Terry Hanson wrote:
> I have been a volunteer firefighter for six years. The only difference
> between us and paid firefighters is they get paychecks. We have to have all
> the same skills and training. We take our duties and public safety very
> seriously, and are proud to serve our communities. There is a lot of
> camaraderie and loyalty; it's like a family. So you can imagine how hard it
> was to leave my fire department and join a different one, because the good
> fire chief left and was replaced by an incompetent ass-kissing weasel. But
> I was afraid for my safety, and didn't want to waste my time on a
> department that would not invest in adequate training and recruiting.

Yaay, I am so glad you posted this! Because this illustrates a problem that is 
more complicated than taking a personal stand on something- it involves 
getting other people to act. In this case, they asked you to help, then tried 
to dump everything on you and not take any action themselves. Ahem. Not cool. 
(disclosure: Terry is my awesome sweetheart, so I know the whole story.)

This story also relates to a decision that is one of the most difficult 
decisions to make- when do you bail, and when do you stay put and try to make 
conditions better? A lot of us feel duty-bound to stick out unpleasant 
situations to the bitter end. Or if we do leave an unhappy situation for 
something better, such as a job or a relationship, then we feel all guilty 
about it.

How do you decide whether to stay and try to improve a difficult situation, or 
write it off and move on? What are some criteria you can use to help figure 
it out? Why do we waste energy feeling guilty over finding good things for 
ourselves?

-- 
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Carla Schroder
Linux geek and random computer tamer
check out my Linux Cookbook! 
http://www.oreilly.com/catalog/linuxckbk/
best book for sysadmins and power users
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