[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 5: The Hardest Nos]

[Valorie Zimmerman]

On Sunday 29 April 2007 19:13, Sulamita Garcia wrote:
> > Homework: please share your best horror or success stories at dealing
> > with loved ones who want things from you.
>
> That is the hardest people to say no, yes. I had to learn to say "no Mom,
> I will not send more money to you pay rent for my brother and sister stay
> home doing nothing, I don't care, they can work".

Yay, Sulamita! That is a very hard one. I hope your brother and sister got the 
message!

::snip story of annoying "friend"::

> Two days after that, I receive a message from another not so close friend
> asking for a place to stay, because "I just arrive in the city, there is
> no vacancy in any hotel, I'm tired and hungry, I don't know anyone here,
> please help me". I though, no, not again... so I started to ask, to find
> out he came here to do a freelance for some company, and they forgot to
> book hotels, they had look for "like 20 hotels" and finding nothing...
> c'mon, in the third biggest city in the world? So I ask "and you don't
> have a number from anyone on that company?" and he says "the manager is
> here with me, we are trying to find a hotel but no success..." so I
> quickly say "so you stay at his house". I even passed a link for some
> cheap and clean hotels in here, and went to sleep. In the next day, I wake
> up and take a long shower, walked in the house using just my t-shirt,
> listen the music I wanted in the volume I wanted, and my not so close
> friend found a hotel and are ok.
>
> I'm such a grownup now :D

Hip, hip, hooray for you! I think this is so, so major. I love that you had 
the phone call, and *went to sleep.* I think your annoying "friend" -- who 
was not much of a friend, after all, maybe did you a service without knowing 
it. He annoyed you enough to stiffen your spine!

I hope your story will help each of us when we are faced with situations like 
this. Carla is right -- they are the hardest. Friends and families know our 
buttons, and how to push them for maximum effect.

Valorie