[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 5: The Hardest Nos]

[Tracey C]

On 4/30/07, Kai MacTane <kmactane at gothpunk.com> wrote:
>
> Right, she always found something to bitch about anyway. Well, now she
> still has something to bitch about, but you don't have to deal with the
> bitching.
>
> Sounds like a win to me.


What a great way of putting that. I just had a similar situation happen with
a friend I've known for a few years and have done pretty much the same
thing. She had issues with some of the comments I have made over time (I'm a
Brooklyn girl, I can be rather blunt). I had issues with her criticizing and
being judgmental about a lot of what I did (things as simple as sitting on a
particular chair).  Rather than talking to me about this when she first
started having issues months ago, she bitched about it to everyone but me.
It finally came to a boiling point & we talked it over a few months ago, We
both agreed to certain changes.

A month or so later, she was still bitching to people. She bitched at me
when I sent her an e-mail I had sent a bunch of people saying I was busy but
was still thinking about them, saying I never got in touch. (Yeah, she
bitched about me not getting in touch when I got in touch). She wrote me two
really nasty e-mails that I consider to be verbally abusive, basically
writing me off. Since she was bitching no matter what I did, I let her write
me off. I'm the third person in the last few years she got bullyish and
nasty to and then wrote off. Just as Kai describes, she is going to complain
no matter what, so why not let her do it way over there? If she gets over
the bullying and bitching, I'm willing to try to reconcile. Until then, I'm
happy to have her out of my hair.


-- 
Tracey C