[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 3: 101 Satisfying Retorts For All Occassion]

[Tracey C]

On 4/14/07, Gretchen Dziengel <gdziengel at gmail.com> wrote:
>
> My favorite comeback:
>
> Are you saying.......?
>
> Examples:
> Are you saying you don't think I can finish this project?
> Are you saying you don't think I can move that? (usually in reference
> to a heavy monitor or box)
> Are you saying I look crabby today?
>

These are excellent comebacks if you don't necessarily want to cut someone
down in return. They remind me of advice I heard listening to the audio book
"The Gentle Art of Verbal Self Defense" that was recommended for this
course. The idea is that you're responding to a presupposed part of the
person's words that they haven't come out and said. This kind of response
frames the talk about the presupposed idea rather than the "bait" or insult
in their surface words. Here's another example from my own experience:

When a guy offers to help me carry / lift something and I don't want help:
"Are you saying I can't handle this?" (That usually gets a response along
the lines of "I'm sorry. I was trying to help. If you don't want my help,
OK")

When someone treats me as if I probably don't know anything about computers
"Are you saying you think I don't know anything about computers?"
Depending on how I'm feeling I might add something like "I've got an
Associates Degree and will raise you a Bachelors in December. What you got?"
(gambling reference for those who might not get the slang)

And then there are days where I am feeling snarky, like the day that a
newbie tech at the helpdesk started to tell me the steps to add someone to
my GAIM instant message buddy list. I said "Gee, because of course I've
NEVER added anyone to instant messenger before. Wow, thanks!" I felt that
because he was new to our desk, whereas I had been working here for over 2
years, that for him to assume he had to instruct me was insulting.

-- 

Tracey C