[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 2: When Nice = Rude]

[Carla Schroder]

On Monday 09 April 2007 10:57, Listpig wrote:
> "Sir, is there someone else there that I could speak to who is interested
> in helping solve the problem, rather than critiquing my abilities?"
>
> That's kind of what comes to my mind, although I can see that it would
> likely head for a debate.  Once it started doing so, though, I'd think
> you'd want to refuse to argue and simply dig your heels in and request
> escalation.
>
> What do you think?

You got it!

"When I Say No I Feel Guilty" goes extensively into tactics to use in these 
situations. They have cool names like Fogging and Broken Record. In a 
nutshell, Fogging is benignly not-disputing with whatever guff they throw at 
you- "I'm sure you feel that way" and Broken Record is repeating what you 
want: "I want to speak to your supervisor right now." The trick is to not get 
sucked into futile arguments or distracted by anything that will derail you 
from what you want, and sticking to your guns until you get it.

This goes along with taking responsibility for your own needs and wants, and 
not needing permission from someone else. It doesn't matter what their 
policies are, or what rules they think they have to follow. You are the 
customer. You don't need their approval to tell them what you want.

In "When I Say No I Feel Guilty" he tells the tale of a young man who bought a 
used car. It immediately developed problems, so he took it back for a refund. 
He escalated from the salesman to the sales manager to the owner. All along 
the way they first stonewalled, then tried to shift blame, then offered 
repairs, then offered him another vehicle. He stuck it out until he got a 
full refund. He didn't make excuses like "I should have known better" or "I 
should have had a mechanic check it out" or "oh, it was just a beater anyway, 
what did I expect." He paid good money and expected satisfaction.

See why I keep nagging you to get this book? :)

-- 
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Carla Schroder
Linux geek and random computer tamer
check out my Linux Cookbook! 
http://www.oreilly.com/catalog/linuxckbk/
best book for sysadmins and power users
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