[techtalk] career/family question

[Rik Hemsley]

#if Jenny Brown (was Gable)
[...]
> Now... we've considered getting a cleaning service to come take care of
> basic housework; and another service (whose name I can't spell) to take
> care of letting service people in to work on appliances and such.
> 
> But I feel oddly uncomfortable with that solution, like it means
> I'm not doing a good job of making a home and stuff.  But I don't
> really understand why that makes me uncomfortable as much as it does.
> We planned previously that someday when we had kids, he'd take care
> of them, and I'd work to support us both. We don't have kids yet, just
> two cats.  But things feel awkward and I'm having trouble getting words 
> for it.

Well I'd guess the reason it makes you uncomfortable is something
you already know, seeing as you said "like it means I'm not doing
a good job..."

In Victorian days, it was common in England to have a "maid of
all work." I don't know when people started being uncomfortable
with the concept.

I think that once you've had someone doing some household stuff
for you for a while you'll get used to it.

Think of it this way: If you stay at home your income is less
and you don't have any independence. If you go to work you can
afford to pay someone to do stuff for you, so why not ?

Ok, personally I'd find it quite embarassing to have someone
clean for me. I live in a house where a cleaner comes once a week
and I'm usually in. I spend most of my time then talking to her
and distracting her from her work. I feel a bit embarrassed about
watching her clean :)

Thinking of it the other way around though, she normally does
home-help stuff, which means looking after old people and
cleaning their dirty houses (I can say that because my great uncle
is one of those old people and he's a real slob.)

She looks forward to coming to my house (so she tells me) because
it's easier and better paid work than she's used to, and she gets
to talk to me 8)

Also think about the other services you use. Off the top of my
head, I can think of plenty. Someone cleans our windows. Someone
takes our rubbish away. Someone brings us milk every morning.
The streets are kept free from litter. When a car needs servicing
it goes to a garage.

You use services like these but yet it's still embarrassing to
employ a cleaner.

So, just let your conscience be a little flexible and see how
it works out. You can always change your mind but I think you'll
find that coming home to a clean house and being able to spend
your free time as you wish ends up feeling like your right.

After all, why do we bother going to work ? To get money to
allow us to survive while we get on with the rest of our lives.

Rik

p.s. Yes I know some people work because they just love it.
     Personally I'd rather be on a beach, but that's just
     me being a lazy hedonist, or a bum, whichever suits.

-- 
Negotiate identity.

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