[Courses] [Spineful Living, Lesson 4: Saying No!]

[Sheryl]

Doc Nielson wrote:

> Last year i think i said the biggest NO of my life.

Congratulations for standing up for yourself.  I think I also said the
biggest NO of my life last year.

My parents taught me that if I was lucky enough to get a job I should do
whatever it took to keep it.  Didn't matter if I was happy.  So I only had
3 jobs in 25 years.  Each time I stayed too long and the change was
excruciating for me.  I always did the "safe" thing and had a job lined up
first.  I passed up a number of opportunities out of fear and mistaken
ideas about loyalty (like if the boss doesn't want me to leave, who am I
to leave?).

Last year, after spending some time in a workplace that had been taken
over by abusive management, I responded to an inappropriate situation in
what I thought was the only appropriate way -- I turned in 2 weeks notice.
 After 15 years, with a mortgage and no job lined up.  I thought it might
come to that and had been interviewing.  I also had a plan for finances. 
But it was very liberating to have a "Johnny Paycheck" moment and never
look back.  And I hope that it sent a message to my management, even if
they weren't willing to acknowledge it, that they can't just treat people
any old way and expect them to just stick around and take it.

As a 50-something person, I expected not to find a new gig immediately.  I
didn't pursue the position I'd interviewed for, even though they liked me,
because it meant a commute and the job was more intense than I wanted to
take on at the time.  Friends and colleagues around me were horrified and
tried to set up interviews for me or find consulting jobs to tide me over.
 I told them I appreciated their concern but needed a break.  As it
happens I didn't have one.  I fell over a job that would let me learn new
things in an area I was interested in.  I wound up only being out of work
3 weeks.

> I think i struck gold. Lets hope it lasts :)

Same here. :-)

>
> -Doc
> --
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