[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 3: 101 Satisfying Retorts For All Occassion]

[chris]

On Sun, 2007-04-15 at 05:02 -0400, Laylaa wrote:
> There was this guy I would always meet at the laundromat.
> I'm nice. I'm friendly. Sometimes you start conversing while waiting for
> dryers/washers.
> 
> He really bugged me tho. For various reasons I started changing my laundry
> schedule and wandering into a shop/food while I waited for it to finish.
> Stupid small town. *sigh*
> 
> Once I was waiting at the grocery for the bus to go back home and he saw me
> and offered me a ride. I politely thanked him and said no thanks. He said,
> but you have so many bags and you still have to walk after you get off the
> bus. Still no thanks. His response to that was that I was behaving like a
> little girl/child (for worrying about my security).

I think the problem is that many women are taught to be polite and
conversational in spite of their gut instinct about an individual. 

It's taken me years .. and a lot of creep deflection to remember I have
no obligation to engage in polite conversation with someone against my
own gut instinct.

In a similar situation my response has been "I said no thank you".
There's a fine line ... in my experience too snappy of a retort can
escalate aggressive behavior whereas keeping it very simple (firm 2 year
old language) usually gets the result I want.

If a person has already escalated, you can always try flapping your
hands and giggle hysterically like an institutional escapee to shock
them out of it. Whatever works, eh? (worked for me and a group of
friends once when confronted by some frustrated skinheads). 

Seriously though, a good self defense course can work wonders for self
confidence when deflecting unwanted attention.

-chris