[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 3: 101 Satisfying Retorts For All Occassion]

[Gayathri Swaminathan]

On 4/14/07, Rudy Zijlstra <rudy at edsons.demon.nl> wrote:
>
> > "She dint take her happy pills"<--when dealing with a tough female
> > manager
>
> I've heard variants on this applied to male managers as well. Have no
> clue whether its applied to female managers more often. Possibly,
> because tough management goes against some stereotype expected female
> behavior. The "be nice" expectation in this case, which in my mind is
> ridiculous, especially when applied to a female manager. From my point
> of view, a (wo)man who adheres to the "be nice" prototype, should never
> be a manager. And yes, some man have that problem as well. A different
> way to describe it is "what would the neighbors think of this?
> >


I think most instances I have heard this retort involved a female manager.
But  certainly agree with you on the fact that "be nice" prototypes ( both
male/female) cannot be good managers. However, what does one reply to such
unhealthy comments? The idea is not challenge the comment itself but, to let
them they are  treating the situation in an unprofessional manner.

> Is being a girl equated in these instances to being less strong,
> > talkative
> > and needing pills to be happy?!
> If the first example is from sports, its actually biological truth...
> Generally speaking (exceptions always present) females are physically
> less strong than males. On talkative, i actually do not know who is more
> talkative. males or females. I strongly think the difference is not that
> big. To me the difference seems to be more in the subject matter of the
> "discussion". And in both cases, some topics are preferred with no
> member of the other sex around.


Agree here again there are physical differences between strengths of men and
women, but yet again hate the general assumption mode. Feel that there can
be a mode of discussion. Perhaps ask the people involved, Can you do this?
Do you think as a team we can do this? rather than rubbing ointment on the
fact the females are somewhat physically less capable than males...( coz
there are sometimes exceptions here as well)

>
> > I have sometimes equated this to poor humor or just unhealthy
> > remarks..but
> > its hard to miss the stereotypes
> >


It is also true that women are considered talkative generally. But is that
bad? Being social and sharing all sorts of ideas with peers only strengthens
your perspectives ( through criticism, argument or enforcement)..But *sigh*
we do not live in Utopia either.

It is true that in all jobs heavily gender biased, there are some challenges
to encounter for being the opposite sex ( For example: a male performer in
the arts or a female construction worker ) But anymore does it really
matter? If the capacity is matched to fit the job, does being of either
gender really matter? Enforcing stereotypes only grinds the constant
patience the involved person maintains and eventually transforms nice to
rude.

--
Gayathri