[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 2: When Nice = Rude]

[Linda Pahdoco]

Not exactly what Carla asked for, but seems to be somewhat on-topic.

We have multiple Internet connections and run BGP.  Our connection from 
one of the *huge* providers had been flaky for over a week.

One day last week, after working 9 hours at the office and walking out 
to find a flat tire on my car, I wound up on the phone with their tech 
support from home, logged into the office looking at the router.

We have a somewhat unusual type of circuit.  We don't have a T1 
controller defined on our Cisco.  I know this, and I know how to get the 
information on the type of circuit we have.  Perhaps because I told the 
guy on the other end of the line I wasn't a router guru but could do 
whatever they needed to walk me through, he refused to listen.

He asked me about six times to get the results of a "show controllers 
T1".  I told him about six times there was no output from that command 
because we have a different circuit type, but I could give him the info 
from the show on the interface we have.  About the seventh time he asked 
I finally lost my temper.  I raised my voice at him, told him maybe I 
needed another tech, that he needed to actually listen to what I said, 
we don't have a freaking T1 controller.

Then I felt guilty.  It felt like I had been rude, when all I did was 
insist he listen to me.  That's ridiculous.  He's the one who hadn't 
bothered to read the information about our account.  He's the one who 
hadn't listened to what I had been saying for *over an hour* on the phone.

However, the next morning when I got to the office and could send them 
some info they had asked for the night before (and my little tech weenie 
sounded really offended when, after he said 4 times in less than two 
minutes I needed to send the info in, and the fifth time I told him I'd 
heard him the last four times he said it) I made it a point to tell them 
he had been dismissive, condescending and insulting.  I didn't actually 
talk to them when they called back - I had a meeting after work and was 
gone when they finally called - but I know they read the comment because 
the senior level guy tried to make excuses for him.  I don't think my 
boss let them off the hook, but hopefully they'll at least think about 
how they treat people.

I've tried very hard not to attribute the attitude to the fact that I'm 
a woman, but I wonder.  I've also stopped feeling guilty about it, but I 
still get angry enough I shake when I think about it.

Anyone else run into something similar?

LP