[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 3: 101 Satisfying Retorts For All Occassion]

[Sheryl]

Mary Gardiner wrote:

> Anyway, she had a pretty famous post about those men who walk up to
> unknown women (this is usually a men to women pattern) on the street and
> say something like "you look so sad! smile! it's not that bad!"

I hate those guys!

> She objected to this because:
>  - it assumes that nothing a woman could undergo could be bad enough for
>    *frowning*
>  - the man saying this is asking a strange woman to change her
>    appearance at his whim. Marching up to strangers and commenting on and
>    demanding changes in their appearance is regarded as rude, when it's
>    not cloaked under "the world is a happy place!"

I think it goes deeper than that.  I think that a lot of men are under the
impression that women owe them certain "comforts" and that looking pretty
and smiling is one of them.  The woman as "public utility" instead of
fully human and having an existence independent from men.

I get the "smile, honey" assault a lot.  My mouth turns down a little in
repose, a combination of genetics and drooping from age.  After some
experimentation with verbal responses, I decided that a withering look
worked the best for me.  The guy is always looking back as he walks,
waiting for the smile.  I not only don't give it to him, I lock eyes on
him and give him my best "psycho killer" blinkless stare.  Actually had
one "can't be that bad" guy kind of shudder, say, "or maybe it can", break
the gaze and move on faster.

Sheryl