[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 2: When Nice = Rude]

[Gretchen Dziengel]

On 4/11/07, Carla Schroder <carla at bratgrrl.com> wrote:
> Who has some ideas for how to prepare and psyche yourself up for a potentially
> difficult confrontation? Maybe it's some fairly minor, like "Honey, that
> hairpiece is really awful and I would like to help you find a better one" or
> something serious like "Boss, I'm filing a harassment complaint against
> $Dorkperson."
>
> What's the worst that could happen? What's the best that could happen?

Wow, I've been following this course with a person I work with in
mind, we have, 'communication issues'.  The scary thing is that there
are other issues I am seeing in a whole new light.

Case in point:  We recently sold our house.  It was in a very small
town and we were worried that it wouldn't sell at all.  We ended up
selling it to a friend of ours, a very sweet older gentleman who
bought it for his daughter to live in.  Now, he's very sweet, but he's
also a pretty shrewed businessman.  He's our financial adviser,
manages our mutual fund and came to our wedding.

Nine months after he bought the house, our realtor called (small town
so she represented both parties, I know never to do that again)  She
said he was looking for a credit with the local propane company that
he thought was included in the purchase.  She said she wanted to let
us know, and maybe we should call him.  We had talked about offering
the credit, but we had to either cash out the credit or pay $1200 to
renew the propane contract by the end of August, which is before he
decided to buy the house.  We had the company cut us a check and
didn't talk about including it in the sale any more.  It was not
included in the purchase agreement at all.
After talking to the realtor, I called the propane company to check
the dates and then called him.  He was very polite and told me that
a) The realtor had told him we would include that credit and that's
why he came down to our final price.
b) The propane company had told him he had the credit a month after
they had written us a check.
c) When he went in to complain, they gave him the date and amount of
the check that they sent us.

He ended the conversation by telling me that I should talk it over
with my husband and he knew we would 'do the right thing'
We had an appointment with him later that week that he said he might
not make due to weather.  He never called to formally cancel it or
reschedule.  We talked about it and decided his problem wasn't our
fault because we had not promised him the credit, we had no knowledge
that the realtor had promised him the credit and we had nothing to do
with the propane company telling him he did have a credit when he
didn't.

However, we haven't talked to him since.  I'm avoiding it because I
don't want a confrontation.
So, the worst that could happen:  He could yell and scream at me.  He
could screw with our mutual fund but that's pretty unlikely.
The best that could happen:  He could sit down and tell me all about
how he's suing the propane company.  ( I wanted to sue for giving out
private information but it wouldn't be worth the lawyers fees. )

If the worst happens, I pull the money out of that fund and put it in
another one, or the same fund with a different financial guy.  We
wouldn't talk any more but we're not talking now.

Now I have to call him tomorrow.   Wish me some spine.