[Courses] [Spineful Living, lesson 1: Dreams]

[Lynna Cekova]

> In general, women are not raised to aspire to very much, and to bury our real 
> wants and needs under thick deadening layers of stupid stuff, so when I 
> hear "oh, I don't want much" I think it's worth a closer examination. It's 
> not required to share it with the list, but if you're thinking along these 
> lines, you might take another look just to be sure.
>
>   

Or perhaps it can be assumed that a woman knows what she wants, herself. 
Telling someone that her desires are worth a "closer examination" only 
because they are not the same as what you or society considers 
appropriate is outside infliction of self-doubt to that woman, and 
building new "deadening layers of stupid stuff" (whether or not she had 
some to start with).
Some women here have been brave enough to share dreams that differ from 
the dreams of others, and I don't think they deserve to be told to 
re-examine themselves, just in case, as if something was wrong with them 
by default. And many women would think that there was *really* something 
wrong with them -- they would start to search for the "deadening layers" 
that may or may not exist, and would eventually create them, just to fit 
in. A woman telling another woman to "take another look just to be sure" 
if she doesn't conform to some standard of thought and behavior can be 
even more detrimental than the proverbial chauvinistic male who tries to 
order her around. For many people, standing up to an enemy is easier 
than standing up to someone belonging to the same group as you.


Lynna